August 2026 Dispatch
"Summer, It Turns Me Upside Down."
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August 2026 Dispatch: Summer, It Turns Me Upside Down
“Summer, it turns me upside down
Summer, summer, summer
It’s like a merry-go-round”
—”Magic,” The Cars
Not to fully embrace the monthly Jimmy Kimmel bit featuring a montage of local newscasters exclaiming, “Can you believe it’s [insert month] already?” as if a new month wasn’t upon us twelve times a year, but how the hell is it already August?
We still have 51 days of “technically it’s summer” summer until fall officially kicks in on Tuesday, September 22, 2026. I’m not Mr. Summer by any means, and this season’s extreme heat coupled with jackpot-payout high ConEd bills has me longing for autumn, my favorite season since I was a boy.
What gets me down more is the constant passage of time and almost another summer in the rearview with little to nothing to show for it in my life or personal or professional accomplishments. I know there was one gentleman in the recent LAST CALL reader survey who pleaded for “less angst, please” but I’m afraid that’s not a bug, it’s a feature.
Believe me when I tell you, I write every day and do my best to be productive to feel like I’m being conducive to society, sure, but primarily to pay my rent and my bills and not obsess over the things I don’t have or can’t afford as I doom-scroll to the many friends and strangers alike on social media who seem to live their lives without that level of panic and desperation. This has been an incredibly trying summer in what’s turning out to be my most difficult year in, well, years for reasons I won’t bother you with. Let’s just say, the shadow of that grand piano hanging over my head by a wire is getting bigger.
So instead, I would like to offer a brief and mild rant on BLTs.
Despite being a former longtime member of the Southern Foodways Alliance, I never embraced or celebrated the simple joys and summertime tradition of a Tomato Sandwich (white bread, fresh thick-sliced tomatoes, mayo, salt and pepper) best eaten over the sink that serves as a seasonal Proust’s madeleine to so many.
I have nothing against tomatoes, especially the heirloom and standard varieties at their summer peak right about now here in New York. Though I rarely add vegetables like lettuce or tomatoes or pickles or peppers or (G-d forbid) onions to my sandwiches or hoagies, largely due to their “wetness” but also because I simply prefer meat and cheese and the accompanying complimentary condiment.
My two exceptions are the BLT and the Turkey Club. Right now, as noted by Substack Doyenne Emily Sundberg in a recent Feed Me dispatch, we are in the eye of the storm of bespoke limited-time BLT season. But as I noted yesterday in her comments section, while I have respect for beautiful in-season tomatoes, their juicy adulation is at the detriment of the bacon. In so many photos of these offerings, like the one above from Cabalar (a place I genuinely love) in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, the tomatoes are way too big and completely dominate the whole affair.
My local and beloved Court Street Grocers has been teasing the countdown until their popular BLT returned to the menu this week and when it landed their Instagram stories were an endless loop of regulars celebrating the occasion tucking into their BLTs. My barbershop (shout-out Blue & Black!) is just up the block from CSG and last BLT Season when I picked up my annual BLT to go to enjoy at home, but they time the B61 bus deposited me in Brooklyn Heights the $17 sandwich had become a slippery, sloppy affair from all the wet tomatoes, greens, and mayo. Yes, I probably should’ve enjoyed it at the shop with a stack of napkins and a root beer, but I didn’t.
My primary grievance is treating the bacon as an afterthought in favor of the homecoming queen heirloom tomatoes and her court of artisanal greens. I don’t care if it’s supermarket bacon or a heritage brand, as with the Negroni, I just want equal parts (or equal representation) in the core components. Enough with the scant slices. Stack ‘em up. Let’s put the “B” back in the BLT.
And beyond that, just give me lightly toasted white or country white bread, a generous swath of mayo (preferably Hellman’s) applied to both interior sides of the bread, and then equal parts bacon, lettuce (preferably iceberg), and 2-3 “normal” slices of tomato. No aioli, no basil mayo, no hot honey, hot sauce, or assorted herbs.
And that’s why it’s probably better for me, and everyone involved, if I stick to diner BLT’s like my mother and stepfather used to serve at Murphy’s Corner in Oneida, New York, or simply make them at home to my own specifications and standards.
(I drafted this before a friend, knowing my thoughts on the subject, forwarded me “The Secret to a Perfect BLT Isn’t What You Think” this morning, where author J.J. Goode has a lot to say on the subject in his latest for the New York Times.
Any and all hot takes on BLT’s are welcome in the comments!
Fall/Holiday 2026 Brand Partnership Opportunities with LAST CALL
If you work for or are a publicist for a like-minded brand in the beverage, food, consumer packaged goods, or publishing industry and would like to learn more about rates and details for Fall/Holiday 2026 and Dry January 2027 partnership opportunities on LAST CALL, please shoot me an email me for more information. Featured sponsorship placements include Standard Placements, Dedicated Dispatches, and our popular Holiday Gift Guides (Food & Provisions, Drinks & Spirits, The Spirit of Italy, Books & Cookbooks). Discounted rates for first-time bookings are available through early August.
Ride or Dive: New York Transit Museum x Montero Bar & Grill
Next week on Tuesday, August 11, Barchives, a periodic public event series dedicated to bringing local history and archival collections out of the library and into neighborhood bars, will be posting up at Montero Bar & Grill along with The New York Transit Museum, which is celebrating their 50th anniversary this year.
Join Alex Pincus, CEO of Crew, the new owners of Montero, who will be sharing insights on the Brooklyn bar’s 87-year history as a neighborhood institution. I’ll be making the quick trip downstairs to join Alex in the discussion, offering my perspective on what makes a dive bar a dive bar and how these often endangered species serve as an essential community hub. I’ll also have copies of my award-winning book Last Call: Bartenders on Their Final Drink and the Wisdom and Rituals of Closing Time (featuring Montero) available for sale and to sign.
The event is fully booked but you can join the waitlist on Eventbrite.
Tuesday, August 11 at 6:00 p.m.
Montero Bar & Grill
73 Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn, New York 11201
Meet Me In Milwaukee
I’m excited to share the news that this September I’ll be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, to be a part of the third-annual Botanical Bitter Royale, hosted by the talented team at Bittercube Bitters and Heirloom Liqueurs, in collaboration with the Pour Inc. Group, taking place at the historic Muellner Building in Wauwatosa.
Join some of Wisconsin’s finest bartenders for a spirited day of craft cocktails, gourmet bites for premier local food trucks, and a lively competition.
I’m honored to be among this year’s panel of guest judges including Justin Burrow (Houston’s Captain Foxheart’s Bad News Bar & Spirit Lodge), Karen Bell (James Beard Award-nominated Milwaukee chef), Mikel McGee (award-winning floral designer and founder of Milwaukee flower shop 414loral), and Keven Bush (synthwave project Immortal Girlfriend).
This will be my first time in the great state of Wisconsin (the home of many bar world friends of mine like Toby Cecchini and Brian Bartels) and though my time there will fly by I’m hoping to pack in as much regional highlights as I can, especially an inaugural visit to Bryant’s Cocktail Lounge, hopefully a supper club Friday Fish Fry, and my road game tradition of picking up an on-field cap of the hometown MLB team (the Brewers’ team logo remains one of the finest in the league).
So whether you’re a cocktail enthusiast, a food lover, or simply in search of a remarkable day out, the Botanical Battle Royale is set to dazzle. Celebrate the artistry of cocktails, the beauty of botanicals, and the spirit of community at this one-of-a-kind event. This popular event has sold out the past two years, so don’t dally in securing your ticket.
Botanical Bitter Royale 2026
Saturday, September 19, 2026 from 1:00 p.m - 5:00 p.m.
The Historic Muellner Building
7300 W Chestnut Street
Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, 53210
BTP’s Books!
Way back in 2010 in anticipation of the launch of my debut book Bitters, I enlisted the acclaimed Charleston creative studio and consulting team Fuzzco to design my website. I was a big admirer of their portfolio and collaborations and though my budget was nowhere near their average fee, they found me, my pitch, and my forthcoming book worthy to take on and I remain forever grateful for their generosity in both creativity and spirit. Until recently btparsons.com was the primary home of my books and how to purchase them, but my four years writing here on Substack eclipsed the need to keep it going. So that bespoke side has sadly been sunsetted, but rest assured that btparsons.com now redirects directly to LAST CALL. And you can now find all of my books listed on LAST CALL as well. Just click on the “Books” tab of the navigation bar on the LAST CALL landing page or find them via btparsons.com/books.
I recently stocked up with my publisher Ten Speed Press so if you would like to order signed copies of any of my books, or learn more about wholesale opportunities to stock any of my books at your bookstore, bottle shop, distillery, or business, please email me for more information.
Popina with Patrick
As owner James O’Brien can attest, despite living a quick 10-minute walk from his restaurant Popina I certainly don’t get there as much as I wish I could. But when Faccia Brutto Spirits’ founder Patrick “Commendatore” Miller invited me to dinner and I saw that Popina’s seasonal Corn Agnolotti was dropping on the menu this week, it was easy to agree upon a restaurant.
PS: If you’re in the neighborhood this week they’re hosting a "Backyard Party” with my dear friend Katie Parla this Thursday, August 8 to celebrate her latest book, Rome: A Culinary History, Cookbook, and Field Guide to the Flavors that Built a City.
I arrived at the restaurant first (as I always do) and despite the charm of Popina’s backyard urban oasis, I made the resy for inside with the comfort of air conditioning as the air was thick with the promise of rain. Patrick was running a bit late due to traffic and encouraged me to order a Negroni, which I did. Though the Italian icon is in my frequent rotation, whenever I raise a well-made Negroni to my lips it’s a reminder of how much I truly love this drink.
Once he pulled up, Patrick didn’t waste much time taking care of ordering for the table (the perks of dining with a former executive chef). As long as my Corn Agnolotti was making an appearance I had no issues. I was craving it so much I almost placed a second order to bring home.
We kicked things off with a quarter-loaf of Sourdough Bread from Winner bakery served with olive oil and a mound of soft butter dotted with fennel pollen. This was accompanied by Popina’s signature Carolina Gold Rice Arancini served in a slick of sticky, slightly spicy saffron honey; Yellowfin Tartare with green tomato and Fried Shallots (the server graciously offered them on the side for this guy), and a dish of in-season Heirloom Tomatoes atop creamy creamy Stracciatella drizzled with a savory bagna càuda dressing.
We each ordered a glass of crispy Verdicchio from Le Marche for the pasta course, which included my highly anticipated Corn Agnolotti (corn sugo, ricotta, black pepper) and the house classic Rigatoni (tomato, guanciale, black pepper, pecorino). The Agnolotti was just as delicious as the last dish of it I had on a hot August night a year ago, and Patrick kindly looked the other way when I at the last two pieces.
Patrick opted for chicken and fish for the final course. The Hot Chicken Milanese was a given, and the Swordfish with braised beans and burst cherry tomatoes was a surprise star of the night (and made for a most welcome lunch the next day).
Grazie, Patrick for a wonderful dinner and conversation. So nice to catch up.
My LEGO Orca (Finally) Sets Sail
One thing I did accomplish last month was finally constructing the LEGO Jaws I pre-ordered two summers ago that had ben sitting in my antechamber closet ever since. Over the Fourth of July weekend I sliced open the box and set out to build the Orca and its crew (and Bruce the Shark) from the pile of 13 numbered numbered plastic bags filled bricks and accessories. Enzo naturally, and inconveniently, insisted on landing a hand (paw) to the proceedings sprawling out across the kitchen table across the instruction manual and loose LEGO bricks with is metronome-like tail threatening to send pieces flying with each snap and thwap.
This was the biggest, most cumbersome, and most challenging LEGO set I’ve ever attempted. Each time I hit a seemingly possible phase of construction (like connecting the bow to the rest of the ship, threading the thin twine through the mast) I’d find out via LEGO forums online that these were by now famously difficult and quite common mishaps that sent many folks giving up or throwing the set across the room. I followed the uniform advice of “step away and return to it later” that that did help matters, as did watching helpful videos online. The final build wasn’t perfect. I gave up on some parts you’ll never see (like the underside of the Orca). Lacking a display surface out of Enzo’s eyesight and reach I placed it high up atop the cabinets over the stove, one of the only areas of the apartment I’ve never seen him claim or seem interested in exploring.
Georgia Fulton’s “Everlasting Summer” Playlist
Around this time of year I always turn to Friend of LAST CALL Georgia Fulton’s “Everlasting Summer” Dive Bar Jukebox contribution, her sun-baked personal love letter to the looming end of her favorite season.
“I’m a through and through summer person. I love everything about it. Waking up and throwing on some knickers and a dress, the beach, fish and chips, fresh fruit, the tomatoes I’m growing upstate. I love the intensity of a heatwave and the way it reduces an entire city of sophisticated people to utter only one sentiment: It’s soooo hot. I wear my tan as a badge of honor. It proclaims the lazy fun of the many beach days I’ve had. You can see it, and it’s true—I’m good at all this summertime stuff.”
— Georgia Fulton
Georgia has been much busier than usual this summer working hard to breathe new life into Sam’s Restaurant as the new owner of this historic Cobble Hill pizzeria that dates back to 1930. I’lll be stopping by soon to see the space and talk to Georgia about the forthcoming opening, and stay tuned for her third record-setting Dive Bar Jukebox appearance with an all-new playlist inspired by Sam’s.
Raising a Glass to Louis
This past Friday, July 31, was the “Gotcha Day” of the late, great Louis, an adopted former farm cat from Mill Creek, Washington, who lived 16 of his 18 long years with me until we said goodbye on September 24, 2021. We always celebrated his birthday with a can of Cento tuna, a new toy, and a fresh bag of treats.
It took me more than four years to even consider bringing a new cat into my life. The constant sadness and painful memories of our final days together tore me apart, and each corner and windowsill, and soft chair made my apartment feel even more empty without him.
Since Enzo moved in over a year ago I find that my memories of Louis, specifically his mews, motor-like purrs, and that signature “murr” to announce himself when he hopped up on the bed, are fading from my memory. Enzo is a big boy with a big personality who completely fills the room, and my life, with his presence.
There will always be room in my heart for Louis, and I hope he’s up there looking down us in with love and amusement, and welcoming all our @distillerycats friends who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge to show them around.
I’ll never stop telling Enzo stories about Louis and our adventures together, as we move on together making a new lifetime of memories together, however long that may be.
Long live, Louis! May his legacy carry on in spirit.
Hamilton the Hipster
Ally Marrone and Robby Dow, Grand Army | Brooklyn, New York
This was my favorite drink featured on Grand Army’s popular “Cats” menu in the fall of 2021 that they lovingly dedicated in honor of Louis. This Negroni variation was inspired by Hamilton the Hipster, an internet-famous cat with a distinctive curlicue mustache.
Ingredients
3/4 ounce Fords Gin
3/4 ounce Mulassano Vermouth Bianco
3/4 ounce Cardamaro
1/2 ounce Cynar
Garnish: Grapefruit twist
Directions
Combine the ingredients in a mixing glass. Add ice and stir until chilled. Strain into a double Old-Fashioned glass over ice and garnish with a grapefruit twist.
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Had a blast, thanks for clarifying that my nails aren't dirty!
Interesting thoughts on the BLT. Made me think that ultimately it is one of those food/drink items that’s deeply personal. I honestly don’t recall ever ordering one in the wild, but is in the regular rotation in the summer after the Saturday market swing. Agree completely that the B is integral, otherwise it’s just a tomato sandwich!
On the opening, your honesty in your writing is definitely a feature, and not a bug. Be well.