Knock Three Times On the Ceiling if You Want Me
There are definitely some things to seriously consider before moving into an apartment above a bar. I’ve lived above the historic Montero Bar & Grill for three-and-a-half years and, as someone who writes about drinks and bar culture for a living, I feel like I’m an ideal tenant.
The bar opened more than 80 years ago on the western edge of Atlantic Avenue, just a few blocks from the Brooklyn Waterfront. Visiting sailors and longshoremen from the docks and shipping yards were among the regulars over the years, and while the interior remains a museum to all things nautical, the clientele these days range from devoted neighborhood regulars to post-shift restaurant and bar workers to grad students to karaoke devotees (more on that in a moment).
Everyone who passes by takes notice of the large vintage 1949 neon sign that hangs over the bar that spells out “Montero, Bar Grill, Wines, Liquors” in red and pink script. There were a lot of Seinfeld-related Kenny Rogers Roasters jokes among my friends when I first moved in, but the ambient neon glow that illuminates my living room each night until 2 a.m. is one of my favorite parts of living over a bar, and it feels very New York. And the fact that writer Frank McCourt lived in my very apartment in the 1980s gives the space good literary bones.
The reality is that living on a busy thoroughfare right near a BQE on-ramp and exit is the least appealing factor (that and the smokers who hang out in front of the bar). And with a new hospital recently opened nearby, my hearing has been on the decline from honking horns, screaming sirens, drivers cursing at each other, and the nonstop chainsaw buzz of motorbikes, three-wheelers, four-wheelers, and all sorts of Road Warrior-like all-terrain machines racing up and down Atlantic Avenue.
The three nights of karaoke each week (Thursday, Friday, Saturday) isn’t much of a concern to me, though when my sister was visiting and spent the night on my sofa and a rousing, seemingly endless 1 a.m. group sing-along of “Bohemian Rhapsody” downstairs had her inquire, “How can you live like this?”
But the karaoke, which takes place directly below my kitchen, is more like a neighbor throwing a party. It can get a little rowdy on Saturday nights, and I can make out some of the often-requested songs like “Paradise By the Dashboard Light,” “Man! I Feel Like a Woman!” “Mr. Brightside,” “Landslide,” “Zombie,” “Under Pressure,” and “All Too Well,” but usually it’s not too bad. And I get a kick when I hear someone singing songs from the BTP Playlists, like “Love Will Tear Us Apart,” “Girlfriend in a Coma,” “Boys Don’t Cry,” or “Pretty in Pink.”
When I first moved in I had hopes to develop the eccentric guy who lived upstairs persona and drop in on Saturday nights in a big bathrobe like 1970’s Brian Wilson, wearing TCB sunglasses and balancing a Whiskey Sour in one hand and a microphone in the other. I would then belt out an immaculate rendition of “Suspicious Minds” before disappearing back upstairs.
That still hasn’t happened, for better or worse, and, in fact, since moving here I’ve only performed two karaoke numbers downstairs. The first time was a late December night with friends and one of them put my name down without telling me so I really had no choice when Amethyst called my name. Luckily it was one of my favorite songs, “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass, which is about sailors and bars and lost love and ships at sea so was appropriate. And dare I say, I owned it, and wondered why I didn’t do this more often.
That answer came earlier this year when I met a charming British couple named George and Abi at Long Island Bar who were visiting from London, and our post-dinner drinks continued over beers and karaoke at Montero. I confessed to Abi that I always dreamed of singing a duet of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” with an imaginary girlfriend I didn’t have. She wrote out a song slip, ordered two shots of Fernet-Branca and said, “Let’s go.” Trust me, Marvin Gaye shouldn’t be anyone’s second-ever karaoke song sung at Montero. They should’ve pulled the plug. I knew I was doomed from the first “Listen, baby…” Abi was fantastic and she later ran the room with her lively rendition of “You’re So Vain” (I sang the Mick Jagger background vocals from the sidelines) while George blew the roof off the place channeling Jarvis Cocker on “Common People.”
You Probably Think This Song Is About You
While I get plenty of “Hey, BTP, we’re downstairs” texts at all hours of the night, I often wonder who exactly is downstairs singing, and why they pick the songs they do. I reached out to some friends and regulars alike to learn more about their karaoke experience at Montero.
What’s your go-to karaoke song and why?
Gaby Scelzo (Baker, Writer, Carroll Gardens Resident)
Why do you love Montero?
Gaby: The drinks are cheap and it's always just the right amount of crowded—enough that every time I'm there I meet someone interesting or run into a friend, and never so much that you can't move through the entire space.
What are you drinking?
Gaby: Tequila soda if Montero is the main event, Campari Soda if it's a nightcap.
What are you singing?
Gaby: It's not really my go-to yet, but I recently sang “I Kissed a Girl” and the energy that came from the crowd was unmatched. I always want people in the bar to sing along to whatever song I choose, and even if you don't know that one by heart, it's so easy to pick up after the first verse.
If you have brave friends, I suggest filling out a slip with their name and favorite karaoke song. My friends always give the best performances when they don't have time to get nervous or try to prepare while they wait for their name to be called.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Gaby: Amethyst, who seemingly runs the entire karaoke operation, will sing with anyone who is feeling shy or whose song choice isn't riling up the crowd. She's the ultimate hype woman and absolutely the reason karaoke at Montero is so fun.
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Gaby: I would be so grateful to never have to listen to someone sing “Mr. Brightside” at karaoke ever again.
Jason Diamond (Writer, The Melt)
Why do you love Montero?
Jason: I lived in a rent-controlled apartment overlooking the BQE around 2005. It was a really weird and sort of lonely time because all my friends lived in Williamsburg or the city so I felt really cut off in a way. I noticed the Montero sign a few times on my walks and decided to just start going in there. I realized it was a gem right away.
What are you drinking?
Jason: If I'm there by myself then it's a shot and beer. If I go for a party it's likely a spirit and soda. Likely tequila. I can drink a few of those and not feel anything besides happy. That's what I aim for when I'm doing karaoke.
What are you singing?
Jason: To be honest, I go into karaoke having zero idea what I'm going to do. I tend to do more classic rock because I have a really low voice and it's easier, but it depends.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Jason: This will sound weird, but I'm often surprised at how my die-hard karaoke friends never want to go there. They tend to go to places with private rooms so they can sing all night with their friends. Montero is all about the community aspect, that feeling of belting out a song in front of strangers and having a group of people you've never met sing along and support you. I love that and tend to enjoy that sort of scene more.
Ali Klooster (Crisis Communications Manager)
Why do you love Montero?
Ali: Montero is clearly a great neighborhood bar with a storied history that others can cover. The most special part about it to me is its proximity to you. I love seeing the neon Montero sign make its regular appearances on your Instagram—the bar feels like it’s my friend, too.
What are you drinking?
Ali: PBR long necks. I'm probably there with you, so there’s also likely a shot of Fernet-Branca.
What are you singing?
My go-to song at Montero is—I'm sorry, Brad—"Zombie" by The Cranberries. I am a naturally loud but self-conscious person; if I'm shouting about something and people start paying attention to me, no problem, but I'm not going to stand up and ask them to look and listen.
The crowd at Montero is generally at just the right level of engaged but not invested in the singer. They're waiting for their own songs. Dolores O'Riordan's vocals on that track, which I'm obviously not nailing, really let me get my loud out, and no one seems to mind how they're delivered. I know you'd prefer another Cranberries number, but that just wouldn't do it for me. I'm partial to the end, where I gather O'Riordan is technically yodeling. It's intense subject matter, but if you've got anything pent up from the preceding week, that part is truly a relief valve.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Ali: Amethyst, the host, manages to wrangle what can be a pretty rowdy room while remaining an ardent supporter of her performers. She'll grab a mic and sing along when someone didn't get quite enough liquid courage down before their number was called.
I remember once when we were hanging out at your apartment on a Saturday night, Mike got the itch and ran downstairs alone to sing "Amarillo By Morning." He wasn't gone long since it was pretty early and there wasn't much of a backlog yet. He was beaming because he said that after he finished Amethyst urged the crowed to "Give another round of applause for Mike because I forgot to put the lyrics up and he did the whole song by memory."
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Ali: I could go a lifetime without hearing “Wagon Wheel” at karaoke again, but if I do, I just hope it's not the Darius Rucker version, which is just karaoke to begin with.
Ally Marrone (Bar Director, Grand Army)
Why do you love Montero?
Ally: Between the nautical vibes and fierce women running the bar, it’s impossible for it not to be a neighborhood favorite! The real bonus is karaoke Thursdays-Saturdays!
What are you drinking?
Ally: Miller High Life or Modelo with a lime! The perfect beverage to refresh the pipes before it’s time to sing!
What are you singing?
Ally: This question is tricky as I have a few tunes I like to belt! First and foremost, “Gloria” by Laura Branigan! I also love the The Chicks’ “Wide Open Spaces” when I’m accompanied by my pals Charlotte and Pat! I really invest my heart and soul into the chorus of “Gloria.” Lots of high knees and pointing!
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Ally: The set-up is my absolute favorite!!! It’s in the heart of the space in front of the restrooms, there’s no hiding! Everyone can easily get involved and they tend to! I love that karaoke at Montero is always a group effort in the best way. Is there a song you never want to hear anyone ever sing again at karaoke (anywhere, not just Montero)
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Ally: No way!! All songs are welcome as long as everyone is having a good time.
Patty Dennison (Head Bartender, Grand Army)
Why do you love Montero?
Patty: There’s so many thing. I love that it’s nautical themed. The first time I walked into the bar I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was also very drunk. Amethyst, who runs karaoke there, was singing the main song from The Phantom of the Opera with a random guy who was sort of singing/yelling back at her while she’s fully singing opera. I was like, what is going on? This is the most incredible place on Earth. Plus, it’s mostly women bartenders working there. I even helped carry a case of beer to the bar once. I’ve never been a bar like it. You’ll find the most welcoming groups of people there. It’s a special place
What are you drinking?
Patty: They have a selection of lighter beers and I’m usually drinking a High Life. But Ally would almost always rather have a Modelo so sometimes I have a Modelo instead. Last time I was there I had a PBR and it wasn’t bad.
What are you singing?
Patty: I’m really bad at singing so my goal when picking a karaoke song is picking something I think the crowd will know, and will also sing. Typically it’s been “Come On Eileen” because that’s my tried-and-true, go-to karaoke song even though I still don’t know all the words. Not even close. I like near the end of the song when it slows down—the “ta-loo-rye-ay” part. But then you have that build-up and everyone is like, “Woooo!”
But at Montero’s it might also be “Since U Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson—that will really hit. Or sometimes it’s “Teenage Dirtbag.” I play the crowd. I need other people around me to be involved in the music so I feel better about myself.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Patty: Obviously, Amethyst is an icon. I’ve never wanted someone to like me more in my life. I feel like I need the validation from her and I will never get it. But nine times out of ten, it’s a really supportive crowd. Also I always feel like there’s somebody famous there. An actress from Glow, someone from Broadway, a comedian who looks familiar, the Australian National Rugby team—there’s always somebody kind of famous there. But even if you’re not the best singer as long as you give it your all people will come after and say, “great job!” As someone who isn’t a great singer I don’t feel comfortable about doing karaoke, but there’s something about Montero’s where it’s like, OK, yeah, I’ll sing a song.
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Patty: When we were at Montero the other night someone did “Sweet Caroline” and it did not go over well. I felt bad for the guy, but that’s maybe too stereotypical of a karaoke song.
Jack Schramm (Co-Owner, Solid Wiggles)
Why do you love Montero?
Jack: Truth be told, I've only been once but in that one time I couldn't help but fall in love. The vibes are impeccable.
What are you drinking?
Jack: My Dive Bar staple: G&T. Gin choice is always a game time decision based on whatever's on the backbar, but it's usually Tanqueray.
What are you singing?
Jack: My go-to song for any karaoke is “Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)” by Billy Joel. The “ACK ACK ACK ACK” part is just too fun. It's not terribly difficult to sing so you can really wail, but the "Ah-HOO-HOO" at the beginning is actually really tough to nail, which sets the perfect tone for slightly drunk karaoke. I'm here to have fun, sing hard, but also make some crazy noises. One note about Billy Joel Songs—they only hit in the tri-state area. I tried it at Santa's Pub in Nashville (another all time great karaoke bar) and was met with a lot of blank stares. Mister Joel's power wanes the farther you get from MSG.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Jack: Bar karaoke is always superior to private room karaoke. Winning over a whole room of strangers is one of the greatest feelings on the planet, and Montero is an amazing room to do it in.
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Jack: Not a particular song, but a particular style of performance. The scared mumbler, who drags their friends up halfway through to sing the rest for them. The most important thing to remember is that no one is going to remember your performance. Just go for it.
Kendra Borowski (Restaurant and Bar Publicist)
Why do you love Montero? In a town that's constantly reinventing itself, we find comfort in places like Montero that keep on keepin' on. Affordable drinks, original decor, a little bit off the beaten path, patrons from every walk of life—this is a place for the people. Plus, they have karaoke multiple nights a week, which is very convenient when you find yourself with an irresistible urge to sing in public on a Thursday night.
What are you drinking? Tito's & soda, petite slice of lime. Maybe a little shot if I need some extra liquid courage.
What are you singing?
Kendra: “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” by CCR. A classic - fun and easy for this alto to sing, enough people know it to sing along, and it seems to unite the place no matter what. When the first notes of this song hit, everyone's ears perk up. How can you NOT like this song?! I'll hold the mic up and encourage crowd participation during the chorus.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Kendra: If you hit it right, you'll probably see some other industry people you know there. It always seems to be just the right amount of people. It's DIY in a good way (shout-out to Amethyst who runs the karaoke operation, she even had little hats for the mics for COVID protection) and if you are the kind of person who wants to sing 10 songs because you can't decide on one, and I'm not saying that is me, Amethyst will hook you up to sing your heart out all night. Please tip her generously!!!!
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Kendra: ”American Pie.” A true jam on a road trip but takes on a totally different sheen in a karaoke bar and somehow feels like it's 17 minutes long. Please let someone else have a turn.
Max Levitzke (Neighborhood Regular)
Why do you love Montero?
Max: Over the past few years, there's been a trend in my friend and age groups (late 20s/early 30s) that's moved away from cocktail bars with $18+ drinks and sitting down at a table, to cheap beers or tequila sodas at dive bars. It's less fussy, you get what you get, and it's honestly been refreshing post-pandemic after not being able to go out as much. Montero is the absolute ideal dive bar in NYC. $5 beers in a trough of ice; a dumbwaiter that goes to the cellar to restock said ice trough of $5 beers; a strong longshoreman aesthetic; one song slip per drink purchased; not enough space to really move around; what more could you ask for?
What are you drinking?
Max: Ice cold Modelos (for the fellows).
What are you singing?
Max: ”Every Morning” by Sugar Ray. Honestly, it's not so much that this song is perfect for Montero, but it's one of my pre-approved songs on a lengthy Evernote on my phone that fits into a specific category: they're mostly crowd pleasers, the majority of people recognize the song even if they don't know all the words or who it is, they're a reasonable length, and I know all the words. My favoirite part of singing that song is that first, "said that we can do it, yaknow I wanna do it again" followed by the drums dropping out and the little acoustic riff. Mama mia!
It is WILD how many people grab the mic and start singing a song they don't know in front of 30-plus strangers. Is that confidence, or overconfidence? Respect the art form and make sure you can give a good show to those around you—this ain't a private room with an iPad.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Max: It is truly the Wild West of karaoke bars. If you think you've got chops, this is one of the final proving grounds. If the MC running karaoke doesn't like your attitude, style, song choice, etc—it's gonna be a rough night for you (I've had a friend get called out in front of the entire crowd for not following instructions on which mic to use. Incredible). I love that you could be there for two-plus hours and maybe only get to sing once, even if you buy four beers and drop four song slips at the table.
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Max: Anything longer than four minutes. If you're exceeding four minutes, you better be a goddamn pro and be able to sing that song with your back to the lyrics. This is not the time for heroics, there are 12 people waiting to sing after you at the one, the only Montero Bar!
Alexander Celia (Crown Heights Resident)
Why do you love Montero?
Alexander: The ownership and staff: Pepe and Linda Montero keep the place stuck out of time; Amethyst Valentino, the karaoke DJ, runs a tight ship and keeps the line moving; Sam, the bartender, takes no prisoners when shuttling empty cases of Bud Light off to the kitchen. Together, they've cultivated a friendly and energetic atmosphere for one-timers and regulars alike.
What are you drinking?
Alexander: I've been going with a crew of four friends (inclusive of myself) for about two years now every Friday night. One of our members, Jeff Strabone, ordered us a round of vodka cranberries the first time we all went together; it's now the only thing we drink. At some point in mid-2022, we began calling it "The National Drink." I'd tell you why if I knew myself. The term has picked up amongst our respective groups of friends. I had my birthday party there last week and about a dozen people approached the bar trying to order "a National," which confused the hell out of Linda. Get it with tequila and it's a "Nacionale."
What are you singing?
Alexander: I try to keep the rotation fresh, and I do my best to read the room. I'm not much of a singer, so I try to pick singalongs so the crowd will drown me out. Early in the night, before the crowd filters in, I might go with a Beatles number ("Lady Madonna" or "When I'm Sixty-Four"). As it gets later and more crowded, I'm known to bust out "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" or "Can't Take My Eyes Off You."
It's always fun to rip the falsettos in "I Believe in a Thing Called Love." The first time I sang it, a group of twentysomethings came up to me immediately afterward and asked if I was an "admissions counselor at Bard College." I'm not, and I’mIstill trying to parse the reference for latent implications.
What makes karaoke at Montero special?
Alexander: Amethyst makes it fun—she's encouraging at the right moments, but will shut you down if you take it too far or get too rowdy. She has a few go-to phrases ("The mic with the tape," "No drinks on my table," "Awesome job, girl") and mid-song interjections (making explosion noises during the interlude of "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is a big one) that the regulars know well and love.
It's an odd setup for a karaoke bar, as there's almost no space to perform, so you often end up singing in a mosh pit of strangers. I think this lowers the barrier to entry for less confident singers, because you don't have to get up on stage and single yourself out.
Is there a karaoke song you never want to hear again?
Alexander: "Paradise By The Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. I've heard it at a few karaoke bars in my day. It's almost nine minutes long, and it's damn-near impossible to sing. Everyone who tries it loses the thread (or their breath) halfway through, and then everyone suffers for it. No disrespect to Marvin Aday, though. RIP.
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Love this! Now I feel like I’ve been to Montero’s and on karaoke night, no less.
Loved this - am putting this bar in my places to visit list. I might have to do a Spice Girls song when I’m there too ☺️